DECLARE FUNCTION sran$ (top!) DECLARE FUNCTION ran! (top!) '********************************************************************** '* FakeDos 5.0 - By Steven Hanov (hanovs@wchat.on.ca) * '* - Released to public domain on 96/06/22 * '********************************************************************** 'Use this program to scare your system administrator. Run it, and then 'type format c: (or the drive letter you want) and it will simulate a 'format. Also try DEL *.* and then DIR. You can change the files in 'the directory by modifying the data statements. Exit by typing EXIT. ' 'This program is VERY realistic. While I was developing it at school, 'the supervisor actually kicked me out of the room for being in DOS. 'When I used it on April Fools, one computer teacher gripped my 'shoulder, HARD. Another time a different teacher had a 'hilarious look on her face when she saw the computer formatting 'drive H:. BE CAREFUL! ALTHOUGH THIS PROGRAM DOES NOT AFFECT THE DRIVE, 'I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY BODILY HARM INFLICTED ON YOU BY 'PANICKED SYSTEM ADMINISTRATORS. 'If you make improvements or add additional commands, I'd appreciate a 'copy by e-mail. '********************************************************************** dr$ = "X": lab$ = "SYS": path$ = ":\COURSES" SLEEP 1 PRINT PRINT "IBM DOS Version 5.00" PRINT " (C)Copyright International April Fools Day 1981-1991." PRINT " (C)Copyright Microsoft Corp 1981-1991" PRINT Start: a$ = "" PRINT dr$; path$; ">"; LINE INPUT a$ IF a$ = "" THEN GOTO Start IF a$ = "exit" THEN SYSTEM IF LEFT$(a$, 2) = "cd" THEN path$ = ":" + UCASE$(MID$(a$, 3, LEN(a$))): v = 0: PRINT : GOTO Start IF RIGHT$(a$, 1) = ":" AND LEN(a$) = 2 THEN dr$ = UCASE$(LEFT$(a$, 1)): path$ = ":\": PRINT : v = 0: GOTO Start IF a$ = "cls" THEN CLS : GOTO Start IF a$ = "dir" THEN GOTO DIR IF a$ = "del *.*" THEN PRINT "All files in directory will be deleted!" INPUT "Are you sure (Y/N)"; s$ IF s$ = "y" THEN SLEEP 1: PRINT : v = 1 GOTO Start END IF IF LEFT$(a$, 6) = "format" THEN d$ = UCASE$(RIGHT$(a$, 2)): fl = 0 IF d$ = "B:" OR d$ = "A:" THEN fl = 1 IF fl = 0 THEN PRINT PRINT "WARNING: ALL DATA ON NON-REMOVABLE DISK" PRINT "DRIVE "; d$; " WILL BE LOST!" INPUT "Proceed with Format (Y/N)"; c$ IF UCASE$(c$) <> "Y" THEN PRINT : GOTO Start END IF IF fl = 1 THEN PRINT "Insert new diskette for drive "; d$ PRINT "and press ENTER when ready..." DO WHILE INKEY$ <> CHR$(13): LOOP END IF PRINT PRINT "Checking existing disk format.": SLEEP 2 m$ = "250M": b$ = "254,102,458" IF d$ = "A:" THEN m$ = "1.2M": b$ = "1,245,234" IF d$ = "B:" THEN m$ = "1.44M": b$ = "1,457,664" PRINT "Verifying "; m$ l = CSRLIN: IF l = 24 THEN l = 23 FOR s = 1 TO 100 PRINT s; "% complete" SLEEP 2 LOCATE l, 1 NEXT LOCATE l, 1: PRINT "Format complete. " PRINT INPUT "Volume Label (11 characters, ENTER for none)"; lab$ PRINT PRINT TAB(13 - LEN(b$)); b$; TAB(15); "bytes total disk space" PRINT TAB(13 - LEN(b$)); b$; TAB(15); "bytes available on disk" PRINT PRINT TAB(10); "512 bytes in each allocation unit." PRINT TAB(8); "2,847 allocation units available on disk." PRINT : PRINT "Volume Serial Number is 3330-OBD4" PRINT INPUT "Format another (Y/N)"; c$ DO SLEEP 1 PRINT PRINT "Unable to read from drive "; d$ INPUT "Abort, Retry, Fail"; c$ LOOP GOTO Start END IF PRINT "Bad command or filename": PRINT : GOTO Start DIR: PRINT PRINT " Volume in drive "; dr$; " is "; lab$ PRINT " Volume Serial Number is 2AF8-7CD9" PRINT " Directory of "; dr$; path$ PRINT IF v = 1 THEN PRINT " No files in current directory.": PRINT : GOTO Start total = 0: f = 0 RESTORE DO READ a$, b$, c IF c = -2 THEN EXIT DO d$ = "": IF c = -1 THEN d$ = "" PRINT UCASE$(a$); TAB(10); UCASE$(b$); TAB(14); d$; TAB(23 - LEN(STR$(c))); IF c <> -1 THEN PRINT c; PRINT TAB(24); sran$(12); "-"; sran$(28); "-94"; t1 = ran(12): t$ = sran$(59) PRINT TAB(36 - LEN(STR$(t1))); t1; : LOCATE CSRLIN, 36: PRINT ":"; t$ IF c > -1 THEN total = total + c f = f + 1 LOOP PRINT TAB(8 - LEN(STR$(f))); f; "files"; TAB(27 - LEN(STR$(total))); total; "bytes" PRINT TAB(19); "17571840 bytes free" PRINT GOTO Start 'Directory Data. Format is: 'filename,extention,bytes or -1 for directory. DATA dos,use,286,dos,itm,126,qbasic,ini,48,sports,bas,34,linkway2,,-1 DATA b_skills,,-1,fastype,,-1,pctools,,-1,orbitals,,-1,lanskool,,-1 DATA qv,,-1,adven,,-1,chess,,-1,drawer,,-1,pcglobe,,-1,othello,,-1 DATA mail,,-1,thedraw,,-1,watfile,,-1,chat,,-1,dos3,,-1,virus,,-1 DATA valance,,-1,astro,,-1,chemview,,-1,learndos,,-1,ftype,,-1 DATA hplc,,-1,tdist,,-1,periodic,,-1,compevo,,-1,tutor,,-1,temp,,-1 DATA pegasus,,-1,specials,,-1,tutorial,,-1,history,,-1,wpc60dos,,-1 DATA basic,,-1,glossary,,-1,wp60,,-1,qbasic,,-1,autoexec,bat,2048 DATA config,sys,1926,command,com,26348 DATA ,,-2 FUNCTION ran (top) RANDOMIZE TIMER ran = INT(RND(1) * (top - 1)) + 1 END FUNCTION FUNCTION sran$ (top) r$ = STR$(ran(top)) san$ = RIGHT$(r$, LEN(r$) - 1) IF LEN(san$) < LEN(STR$(top)) - 1 THEN san$ = "0" + san$ sran$ = san$ END FUNCTION